What is this curse upon my heart

What is this curse upon my heart,
that plants the seeds where loves do grow,
then rents all loves to me apart?

I know that endings stop each start,
each time, all times.  I want to know,
what is this curse upon my heart?

I've paid for each one à la carte,
unfinished meals, for it's renown:
It rents all loves to me apart,

and thus compels me to compart,
and fall to pieces, no more known.
What is this curse upon my heart?

So every love's compelled to part,
and melt my once-warm flesh to bone?
What rents all loves to me apart,

turns sweetness to a horrid tart?
It is my fate to die alone.
What is this curse upon my heart,
that rents all loves to me apart?

(C)2019, Christos Rigakos

This bus stop, filthied by a thousand shoes

This bus stop, filthied by a thousand shoes
of people walking in, and through, and out--
It is my heart, that pays some unknown dues,

as every little gain I surely lose,
and wonder why they even come about
this bus stop.  Filthied by a thousand shoes,

I often scribe my grief in staves of Blues,
my lyrics harsh, my wails, crescendo'd, shout:
"It is my heart that pays some unknown dues."

This mystery affords me little clues
arranged as jigsaw pieces strewn about
this bus stop, filthied by a thousand shoes.

Yet broken hearts make minds of little use,
a fog-cloaked worthless land, dry-parched from drought--
it is my heart.  I pay some unknown dues,

for sins unsure which God will not excuse,
and so my heart's a terminal throughout
this bus stop, filthied by a thousand shoes--
It is my heart, that pays some unknown dues.

(C)2019, Christos Rigakos

It's oft been said, that all the world's a stage

It's oft been said, that all the world's a stage.
Oh, this one phrase has proven to be true.
The actors' scenes repeat through every age.

There is one play that's quite been all the rage,
whose run's the longest mankind ever knew.
Off-Broadway, seen by all the world, a stage

where major thespians are often gauged
by monologues expressing much ado,
the actors' scenes repeat through every age.

The scripts, expertly crafted to engage
the audience, to cheer or jeer on cue
en masse, because the whole world is the stage.

There's much adlibbing done on every page,
however actors normally stay true
to what's repeated oft through every age.

The plots and stories written to enrage
the audience with courtly ballyhoo,
engage the billions on the worldly stage,
with scenes repeating oft through every age.

(C)2019, Christos Rigakos

If I were sure you'd take me back I would

If I were sure you'd take me back I would
delay myself to ask instead would I?
Rethink the question, not as would but should!

I would have once done everything I could
to stand again before you eye to eye,
if I were sure you'd take me back.  I would

have climbed mount Everest and stood
upon that peak that scrapes the clear blue sky,
rethink!  The question, not as would but should

I then return to that once happy 'hood,
that turned its back the day you said goodbye?
If I were sure you'd take me back I would

examine your once vibrant heart turned wood,
to analyze your once hot blood gone dry,
rethink the question, not as would but should

believing good turned bad can turn to good
bring joy once more or turn again to sighs?
If I were sure you'd take me back I would
rethink the question, not as would but should.

(C)2013, Christos Rigakos

What's rendered me an impotent of life?

What's rendered me an impotent of life,
while others live a life with vibrant hum?
A curse that's hedged me by a wall of strife!

While other lives with fine success are rife,
my own's deplete, a curse has sure become
what's rendered me an impotent of life!

Through failure to provide I've lost a wife!
Though I believe, there are those doubts in some,
a curse that's hedged me by a wall of strife

cannot exist, they say, I'm a midwife
to all my troubles, I am who has done
what's rendered me an impotent of life!

Or maybe I've insulted a spaewife,
who cast, to love and money make me dumb,
a curse that's hedged me by a wall of strife.

I've searched from North Recife to Tenerife,
and failed to find a way to make undone
what's rendered me an impotent of life,
a curse that's hedged me by a wall of strife!


(C)2012, Christos Rigakos

we met like two birds landing on a wire

we met like two birds landing on a wire
and chattered with our chirping sounds that sing
at distance where no flights could we conspire

though thoughts of love nests set our breasts on fire
like humans holding tight to form a ring
we met like two birds landing on a wire

that laid upon the face of earth's attire
so far that only light-boxes could bring
at distance where no flights could we conspire

yet caught by love like wings snagged in a brier
two lovebirds sought to ease loneliness's sting
we met like two birds landing on a wire

and dreamed since then of hatchlings we could sire
with eggshells cracking at the scent of Spring
at distance where no flights could we conspire

above the clouds now dreams have floated higher
and soaring past the heavens there do sing
we met like two birds landing on a wire
at distance where no flights could we conspire

(C)2012, Christos Rigakos

A Button

There's a button I won't reach labled reset-
can't do nothing over; I can't change a thing-
When you see I'm the same you can't be upset.

Destiny's different from blissful neglect-
don't undermind smart phones when your's won't ring-
There's a button I won't reach labeled reset.

Countin' every fish before you cast your net;
Heaven's packed to the gates:  no room for new wings.
When you see I'm the same you can't be upset.

Putting old limits to a new set of tests.
Producing a corpse and calling it King;
There's a button I won't reach labeled reset.

Forsaking the train and cursing the jet,
Refusing the New Age for what it might bring.
When you see I'm the same you can't be upset.

Can't dance in the rain without getting wet-
you're friends with the bees but afraid of their sting-
there's a button I won't reach labeled reset;
when you see I'm the same you can't be upset.


(C)2012, Wells Brand

oh how coincidental is this fate

oh how coincidental is this fate
to grab a seat within a new classroom
between my current and my former mate?

who knew that destiny could calculate
the weaving of three strings upon its loom?
oh how coincidental is this fate

the swinging of the pendulum so great
within the grandpa clock before the room
between my current and my former mate?

my senses convolute when both create
a rare concoction of combined perfume
oh how coincidental is this fate

when memories flash back and forth in state
my heart from extreme ends being consumed
between my current and my former mate?

eventually they'll meet, communicate
the sign of the beginning of my doom
oh how coincidental is this fate
between my current and my former mate

(C)2012, Christos Rigakos

forgotten are the days of her sweet love

forgotten are the days of her sweet love
when we under the warm sun laughed and played
replaced by present things now placed above

those spring and summer days i'm thinking of
my gems that cycled fourteen years to jade
forgotten are the days of her sweet love

quick scattered to the skies like one lone dove
supplanted from his nest, another stayed
replaced by present things now placed above

now this dove and the rest i've spoken of
supplanted, all, for none had made the grade
forgotten are the days of her sweet love

before the ending came with forceful shove
all wonders of the heart before she strayed
replaced by present things now placed above

and all the mentioned references thereof
i solely own, my memories are paid
forgotten are the days of her sweet love
replaced by present things now placed above

(C)2012, Christos Rigakos

so passive letting life just pass him by

so passive letting life just pass him by
he sits, does not attempt to make a move
no life will recollect in his mind's eye

because he'll never move or even try
even in trying times he will just prove
so passive letting life just pass him by

and in his settled seat his heart will fry
her heart to strangers love will not behoove
no life will recollect in his mind's eye

yet certainly his other eyes will cry
and in his crying he will find his groove
so passive letting life just pass him by

yet active will be his continued sigh
he's loved and lost for others don't approve
no life will recollect in his mind's eye

his tears will only stop when bones turn dry
or when his life's poor lot he disapproves
so passive letting life just pass him by
no life will recollect in his mind's eye

2:26 PM 3/26/2012

as often as i've seen it come about

as often as i've seen it come about
the unexpected bullet named for me
i find it hard to grasp and remain stout

it's not the first time i have seen a rout
it's now become a par for course but see
as often as i've seen it come about

it's always left a taste of grizzled grout
upon my tongue and as they set me free
i find it hard to grasp and remain stout

i'm felled and on the ground i plead and shout
my humbled voice is like that of a flea
as often as i've seen it come about

it is the shock that leaves my mouth so pout
my head hangs low like one hung on a tree
i find it hard to grasp and remain stout

most others can't see what i speak about
therefore they shake their heads and disagree
as often as i've seen it come about
i find it hard to grasp and remain stout

(C)2012, Christos Rigakos

the company i keep is such

the company i keep is such
in solitude my friends they'll be
and they've become my wooden crutch

they offer me their magic touch
ascending me to ecstacy
the company i keep is such

short-lived the highs aren't very much
i crash and then return to see
that they've become my wooden crutch

in spite of this they close my hutch
of pain but temporarily
the company i keep is such

and every episodic notch
is covered so i think i'm free
oh they've become my wooden crutch

and i return a darker blotch
my soul more stained by small degrees
the company i keep is such
that they've become my wooden crutch

(C)2012, Christos Rigakos

her beauty kills the mortal man

her beauty kills the mortal man
she draws away his roaming eyes
because her beauty truly can

her skill would awe the sporting fan
she catches eyes like pop up flies
her beauty kills the mortal man

this is the start of end's time span,
the taking of his very cries
because her beauty truly can

it does for there is not a ban
then steals the breath from chests that rise
her beauty kills the mortal man

asphyxiation is so grande,
he faints before her in his tries
because her beauty truly can

it steals his heart into her hand
his soul engages in goodbyes
her beauty kills the mortal man
because her beauty truly can

(C)2012, Christos Rigakos

where you have gone no one may follow there

where you have gone no one may follow there
no tourist guide may go for tell and show
it is a place unmapped i know not where

though many've tried their patience could not bear
surrendered to this fact and they now know
where you have gone no one may follow there

i've questioned eastern experts on a dare
they said its where the life force tends to flow
it is a place unmapped i know not where

a place where all the resting find no care
perfection where you neither shrink nor grow
where you have gone no one may follow there

i've questioned western experts on a dare
they said there's only one way there to go,
it is a place unmapped i know not where

our parents soon would follow if they'd bear
to watch my passing through that door to go
where you have gone no one may follow there
it is a place unmapped i know not where

(C)2012, Christos Rigakos

i know you know

i know, i know, i really know
you're out there somewhere far away
you do recall, i know you know

no matter where you choose to go
though you have found a place to stay
i know, i know, i really know

there's something in your mind that shows
by memory's mysterious ways
you do recall, i know you know

remember how we used to go
by buses, trains for many days?
i know, i know, i really know

you carry memories in tow
though your brown hair might now be grey
you do recall, i know you know

you've thought of me both high and low
yet i have never gone away
i know, i know, i really know
you do recall, i know you know

(C)2012, Christos Rigakos

This much I know undoubtedly is true

This much I know undoubtedly is true,
my eyes are robbed--denied of your sweet face,
with every single countless thought of you.

With hindsight 20-20, not a clue
informed I'd fall to this deserted place,
this much I know undoubtedly is true.

In your deep absence colors fade to blue,
in memory's now slow-degrading pace.
With every single countless thought of you,

you fade as every tick and tock creep through,
replenished if your void you would replace,
this much I know undoubtedly is true.

Now your passover's bitter herbs I chew,
as every memory does plead its case,
with every single countless thought of you.

As every waking thought returns to you,
your silhouette with fingers do I trace,
this much I know undoubtedly is true,
with every single countless thought of you.

(C)2012, Christos Rigakos

without her this here heart it rots away

without her this here heart it rots away
the cure for this disease is not now known
the grave it stumbles closer day by day

the days of laughter in the sun and play
have left with my dear flesh, i'm down to bone
without her this here heart it rots away

she was my life, alas! she couldn't stay
i'm ready, eyelids already been sown
the grave it stumbles closer day by day

i never thought i'd see another day
when once again she'd bury me like stone
without her this here heart it rots away

the skies above will never change from grey
for love is life, its breath has all been blown
the grave it stumbles closer day by day

while all things come to life in May
i'll sleep on still and never be regrown
without her this here heart it rots away
the grave it stumbles closer day by day

(C)2010, Christos Rigakos

now there's a secret haunting my dear soul

now there's a secret haunting my dear soul
i won't expose, the world will never know
it vanished, swallowed in my darkened hole

the days transparency was my clear role
have gone, will not return here anymore
now there's a secret haunting my dear soul

so black, it's darkened me like dirty coal
fell in upon itself with mighty roar
it vanished, swallowed in my darkened hole

and those who know me worry 'bout this mole
that blemished the purity they adore
now there's a secret haunting my dear soul

and all with eyes have seen it's taken toll
upon my face, and every day some more
it vanished, swallowed in my darkened hole

so that not one can make me once more whole
i used to walk so freely through the door
now there's a secret haunting my dear soul
it vanished, swallowed in my darkened hole

(C)2010, Christos Rigakos

you said you would return in just a bit

you said you would return in just a bit
and so I waited for you patiently
for seven heavy hours I did sit

you didn't think to honestly admit
your other plans which did not include me
you said you would return in just a bit

and i assumed a fiteen minute flit
still dressed, by window sill, so i could see
for seven heavy hours I did sit

your smile did not my angry mood befit
when finally you called to visit me
you said you would return in just a bit

and in a bit you came, you said, with wit,
and what's a bit to you, dear, honestly?
for seven heavy hours I did sit

and now, at midnight, huffing in a fit
i tear off day-long clothes disgustingly!
you said you would return in just a bit
for seven heavy hours I did sit

(C)2010, Christos Rigakos

incomprehensible the mortal change

incomprehensible the mortal change
all there before, not here again no more
from what one was to what he's now, so strange

ineffable enough to make a soul deranged
what once walked round now lies beneath the floor
incomprehensible the mortal change

the flesh that lived, now from its bone's estranged
shut down, broken, he's slipped past coffin's door
from what one was to what he's now, so strange

alternative to fate can'tbe arranged
my heart and mind has been an open sore
incomprehensible the mortal change

all that made him so him now's rearranged
can't be that him without the flesh he bore
from what one was to what he's now, so strange

there is no gold on Earth to make exchange
return, undo, make him how was before
incomprehensible the mortal change
from what one was to what he's now, so strange

(C)2010, Christos Rigakos